or an angle Sacred?
Dakini... from the side of the guru ..to guru
To this world made for men ,A strong wise woman is a threat to there very way of life. To the Christians a tantric Buddhist priestess is nothing but a whore. The path to becoming a Priestess (or guru) is cold lonely and harsh ...So why even chose this path?
I'm not thinking of the price I have to pay. I think of all of you and the suffering and I know its worth every blister and every drop of blood. The product in a nut shell ..Is that I can lead others to the state of nirvana. To REALLY help people.
As I started this quest it was simply because I had lost all faith . I can honestly say I lost god. How could I not?
I didn't want my life to fall into a pattern like everyone else . I wanted to make my own pattern. I wanted to find a better way. If insanity is doing the same thing over and over ,than life and the world and the people in it , are all insane. Because history always repeats itself.
My husband died after a week in a coma( I never left his side until they rolled him to the morgue). I thought life was hard before that ,but with the only one who ever protected me was lying there lifeless ,and now gone completely . Its like a nightmare you never wake up from. My children were snatched out of my arms before I was even out of my teens. Not because I was a bad mother simple because someone else (with more money than me) wanted to be there mother. I spent years and thousands of trips across this country, still my beautiful daughters are kept just out of my reach.I have been used and broken in every way you can imagine ,and it all seemed to get worse and worse. Once a person goes down with a mud slide its impossible to stop yourself much less climb back up.
Even more, the arms reaching to save me where coming from sinking boats. Why the hell would I listen to a miserable person tell me how to be happy?
So, here I stand gripping the truth like a hard jagged stone on the top of a mountain, like if I where to jerk to hard I may slip and fall back into a sea of destruction.
I don't pretend to know everything, in fact I don't know much about a lot of things.
However there are a few things I know better than anything. I know about life , love , and happiness.
I searched long and hard to find this thing like god. What I found was a place of peace in Zen Buddhism. I found comfort in these teaching ,in the wisdom and the romance. So since I wish to save the world ,and strongly believe that means saving the people in it , I want to share with everyone my own beliefs.
I don't expect you to fallow me blindly . I expect to rise a fire inside you . I want you to stop listening to Everyone and start thinking for yourself.
Don't get lost in the fight between good and evil. It was never a fight , the answer has been in front of you the whole time.
How can I expect my daughters to be amazing young women if I am not amazing. I want to be better than my mother . I want my daughters to be better than me, but this is a cold hard world and I have still yet to concur it.
What I have concurred is my own mind, and that's the worst part of the battle.
At the start, don't worry a perfect mind is somewhere between complete order and complete insanity.
Keep your heart and mind open. You cant do spring cleaning without slinging open every door and every window.
Find your sanctuary. Doesn't have to be a church or a monastery . A sanctuary is a safe calm comfortable place where you can process thought.
Lastly Do not fear Enlightenment
The most powerful epiphany.
Concentrated energy driven to the answer to a question, will surely make the answer a miracle of shinning light.
The point of exacted awesomeness in the realization of pure truth (an answer so simply divine) you could taste it on your lips like a dish you once craved as a child and just at this moment captured.