Saturday, January 5, 2013

Patience ! A promise to myself......

I am my own best friend. I have said it befour at the end of the day I am the person I will have to answer to. Human beings are such vositile and unpredictable creatures.

Each person has a responsability to themselfs to choice the line for which can be deturmand right from wrong. However, most people do not ! .....

In my own mind I am strong! I am the dragon which gards a cave. A cave hidding the most valuable treasure in the universe. Myself! A beautifull punk rock princess! The Pink budhist peacock! How? You ask am I the dragon and the treasure ?   I just am (shut up this is my blog!!)

Now I would not see any sence in attacking others .. I see no need to raise my mighty wings , or to breath a mighty fire! I am much like Ferdinan the bull .  And I wish so very much to be beautiful on the inside .

There is a sadness in my princesses heart now . She hides shallowly in her cave. There are still flowers and the sun still shines , but she has left the world to the dragon. 

I greet every day with a smile. I try my best to keep optomisum in my heart . A smile on my face! Song streaming from my happy little face .. but deep in the cave in the back of my heart ... the sweet little woman is broken hearted .... and alone in the dark I cry.... and cry ... and my stomic turns in a deep and unbareable pain . .. and I SREAM ....in a whisper "why, GOD, why". 
  I have done nothing wrong!!! I would do anything god please just give her back to me... my heart wrenches for them as I remember how lonely I was as a child... and it has been so long since I had seen them. When I do call I know I can not talk to them. 

      If you wish to digrade me go ahead . The words of a insult have little value to me. If you wish to strike go ahead. The pain is a illusion . Just as the pain of needle to skin is an illusion as I tattooed most of my body. Forgiveness and patience come easily to me now.

Forgiveness and Patience are lessons I learned from the pain I felt . The heart wrenching pain a mother feels every day .... after she loses her child.

I only pray that karma does reward me .. whith every brutal swoop I return it ith a smile. Every crashing blow I best my next sholder forward to the cold wind. I smile! I laugh! I love ! I live! And be the kindest most gental loving happy little hippy girl I can be!!!!! Because ... I am my own best friend !

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