Sometimes theres no way to define the love you feel . Sometimes your heart is left with a gaping hole that cant be fixed . and sometimes theres nothing . I wake up some times a lot more than anyone should from a nightmare where her face and her touch was right there . one i remember quite vivedly was not scary at all... my daughter was there with me and i could feel her in my arms , but when i woke up there was nothing .. i truned down two full paid scholorships last time and this time i wouldnt do any less .. you could never in your life understand the pain i have and am going through .